I flit, i float, i fleetly flee, i fly

So see you in 3 weeks time. I’m going back home tonight.

Before the night is through, Imma tell ya how I feel about you. And I know I got some work to do, To make you believe that you should be leaving with me

Family. How on earth can we define family. You give with no limits to your family. That is how it is supposed to be. Give and give and expect nothing in return. But at what point do you say ‘stop taking me for granted’? At what point do you say I am no longer going to be your personal shopper, personal caller, personal delievery person, personal everything for everyone else but family?

Sometimes you think about it, family is there all the time. They’re. But whether they’re there for the right reasons or not. Sometimes, I just feel that I am a tool for them, an avenue where they can boast about or rather provide the opportunity for their friends to make me buy stuff home. Not just the one item. Its many items and it adds on. Continuously, even up to today! Pushing and pushing and pushing.

There’s only so far up a corner I can go up the wall. *breathes* Family cannot be changed. They will always be family. And in my worst times, they have been there. So I will tolerate and do my duties. But this is why I don’t want to move back home.

Call me unfilial. Judge me for being ungrateful. Everyone is from time to time. But no matter what, deep down, I know family is family. Good or bad, it was never a choice.

真希望雨能下不停，讓想念繼續， 讓愛變透明

So final weekend in Perth has gone by. Couple more days of trading and I’m off. Been mad busy though, running around getting things for Mum. Phone calls for Dad. Cleaning. Arranging my holiday stuff. Arranging immigration stuff. Oh and being involved in dramatic shows.

You know when it gets to a stage where fights are normal. Where fights are expected. It gets dangerous. Because I no longer see the danger of being around people like that. Which, on certain levels scare me a little. But having said that, I’m quite fiery myself. Definately good to get away for a while. Some peace and quiet, ok not really but away from what shouldn’t  be the norm.

That aside, life is really quite unpredictable. This morning, I came in and one of the girls quit, just like that over the weekend. Because she was sick and cannot continue working for a bit. It was just shocking news. I mean yes, granted, I always knew life was unpredictable, you never know what gets thrown in your way but I guess when it happens to people around you, its just abit of a shell shock. One can only wish, before that happens, that one has lived life to the fullest, enjoyed it to the maximum and done everything without regrets.

I would like to say that at that age, or when I get older. I would tried everything once (ok, not everything but you know what I mean). I would have lived life mostly without regret, I would enjoyed most part of my life. That I worked hard, that I enjoyed the fruits of my labour too. That I made friends for life. And that I have a partner for life to share those experiences. Well I guess, one can only look forward and hope.

Happy Christmas everyone! =)

Write it on the sky love, All we had is gone now.

Christmas is the season of giving. But up to now, I haven’t bought any Christmas presents. Mainly because I don’t celebrate it. But this year, I seem to celebrate it more this year than in my past years. I usually don’t celebrate it cos of my religion. But nowadays, religion seems to play a much smaller part in all festivities, but I may be overgeneralising there. I’m sure there are people who celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. But comeon, let’s be honest, for the rest of us, its just another holiday.

Which I find quite sad really. That such festivals are losing their meaning. Look at CNY. Tradition is almost gone. We do stuff that we think are right, celebrating the coming together as well of families, the once a year get together. But why do we need a festive period to bring a family together? To kids, CNY is a time to buy new clothes, new shoes. Almost like an excuse to shop for us older ones. “Oh we need to buy CNY clothes”. I myself am guilty of it. Even though I’m not celebrating CNY next year, I still say “oh, I need to buy CNY clothes, I need to buy shoes before CNY”.

Sometimes I wonder, how many more things are going to lose their meanings in time to come. Regardless though, Christmas still is the reason to celebrate and celebrate we shall. =)

Eshed Christmas Dinner 2010 @ Linda and Normwell’s. =)

“Because I suddenly realized it— the way to get over you wasn’t by hooking up with some random guy. Or pretending we didn’t happen. You and I loved each other. And then you broke my heart. I’d been doing everything possible not to face that fact. I’m gonna kiss somebody someday. And when I do, it’ll be for me.” (Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl 2010)

I want to make things right for me. I want to not make the same mistakes again. There’s so many things I want to do.

But what I ought to do is to control myself less, and let myself go.

I’m stuck in a coma, stuck in a never ending sleep. And someday I will wake up and realise I made up everything.

When one gets bored, one’s creativeness start to wander. In this case, it is not mine but my housemate’s creativity we’re talking about here. (Think she regretted a little giving me that though). Nonetheless, I now am a very proud owner of an artsy fartsy wall.

Anyhoo, 7 more sleeps to home. Oh yes, I can’t say for sure that I am looking forward to that humid weather but other than that, I think it will be a marvellous trip. One can only hope for sure. 3 weeks is very short when you’re trying to squeeze everything, everyone in.

I can only try. =)

Somewhere we went wrong. Our love is like a song but you won’t sing along. You’ve forgetten about us.

So it has officially gone down to the single digits before going home. *chants* I can’t wait! Honestly. I haven’t been this excited going home in a while. I think since my first year back in 2004 where I was so home sick Dad offered to buy another ticket home for me mid year so that I could go home. *blinks* But that was 7 years ago. Now I think I just appreciate holidays back home abit more because of the fact that I am not sure when I am able to take my holidays. Plus the fact that I can’t go home for CNY just makes me appreciate the limited time I have at home more. I never have enough time. I never manage to meet with everyone I want to meet. Always asking for understanding that I am home for a short period of time. I guess. Not a good excuse but what can I do?

Anyways, on another note, I realise seriously Singaporeans live up to their name of K.I.A.S.U. I wrote about having these sites that provide coupons to restaurants, spas. getaways and about how amazing they were. They’re still amazing, but reading through a friend’s blog. Singapore has sprung from 5 of these websites to 11 known ones so far. Whilst it is good that they’re providing such competition and value of money products to us, it also begs the question, would this keep up? Or is this going to be another bubble tea phase? If you recall, back in early 2000 when bubble tea was all the rage, there were bubble stores popping up literally in every corner in Singapore. Now, yes there’s the famous one KOI (I think it’s called) and a couple here and there. Most of them have shut down once the craze was over. Makes me think really, why do Singaporeans always do things excessively? I understand the whole jumping at the right opportunity and everything, but let’s face it. How long would this coupon phase last? (personal opinion of course)

Of course, while these offers last, we should take advantage of it especially with so many springing up, why not? For the full list of websites that offer these coupons in Singapore, please refer to Daphne‘s blog. =)

On another note, yes I do realise by now that I am just talking about random things in general, one of my favourite blogs online has shut down. Or rather the owner has decided that she was sharing too much information on the web and was being judged by people that were close to her and people that she don’t know. She is such an inspirational writer and now with her blog down, this makes me want to buy her book which should be out soon. Its such a pity, a person shares their thoughts on the web, someone caught on, found it facinating and then the word spreads and the readership increases. It could be a good thing but yet easily your inner thoughts and actions get judged. Its a shame really, that writers feel that pressure and not share anymore. Some people need to just read, enjoy and keep critical thoughts to oneself. But who am I to know, my readership is limited to just friends. =)

I guess end of random thoughts.

When you’re looking back alone, you know its time to move forward.

Title says it all. Enough is enough I guess. *shrugs*

On a happier note, the first of Christmas 2010 celebrations:

Golden Century Chinese Restaurant. Cudos to Eva who organised the dinner.

Bowling after. Oh and the sweet smell of Christmas sales.

*9 more sleeps till home sweet home

*12 more sleeps to Christmas

*17 more sleeps to holidays

and 2 and a half more months to the return of my golden key.

You never know how long somebody’s going to be around, taking it for granted that they’d just grow old with you. When you have news of someone leaving or has already left, the regret hits you like a recollection of “What I should have done”

And so my brother says/laments on his FB page.

Which I realised what it was for I guess after Dad told me about the dog. I was never particularly fond of him, mainly cos of his size and mainly cos he came into the family when I was well, already overseas. That of course doesn’t excuse me for not feeling as strongly about this matter as my other family do. Dad’s affected the most, I guess having spent most time with the dog does have that effect on you.

But thinking back, I think it has nearly been about 5 years since we got the dog. Ok the dog has a name but I guess, for now I rather refer to him as the dog. When we first got him, he was this handsome looking thing, about 2 years I think at that time. We bought him off someone who was moving into a smaller place, passed their inspection that our house was adequate for the dog. When we first got it, I think he wasn’t trained to do anything really. Up to today, I think the only thing he really knows is where to do his business, put his paw up when he wants food. But yet, the dog. People say dogs are a man’s best friend. I think true on certain levels. He certainly was Dad’s.

He would wait for Dad’s car to be parked in, wait for the door to open, put his paw there on Dad’s lap as his way of saying welcome home. I think Dad got more of a welcome home out of the dog than us really. He would play footsie with Dad daily, it is not as bad as it sounds, literally they would put their feet on each other, one at a time. Its hard to describe what actually happens, but its a funny sight to watch these 2 playing footsie. And the only time ever ever ever you can get the dog to sit is when you’re feeding him, such a good boy during feeding times.

Abeit his huge size, those who have seen will agree, he is like the world’s friendliest dog, literally. Going to gates with the most friendly face when there’re strangers at our gate. Who wouldn’t dare rob our house after seeing that? Really. Dad reckons the dog has more friends on the street we live on that us as a family do. So many times we get praises from people, so many people come up to say what a handsome dog he is. Despite that, he is one jealous dog. No other dogs can co-exist in the same street as him, or for that matter same house.

Even with my limited interaction I have had with him, without fail, everytime I come home late, he would rush out from the back of the house to the front gate and walk me to my side door. As if, he knows I am a girl I need to be protected. Now that he’s gone, I’m not sure how Dad feels when he comes home from work. Or how I would feel that this year when I go home, he’s no longer there to walk me.

His presence we took for granted, and now I’m not sure anymore whether we would want to get another dog.

R.I.P. I guess.

“But the worst thing the truth can do? Is when you finally tell it, it doesn’t set you free… but locks you away, forever.”

Gossip Girl.

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.

And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell, you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl.

One of my favourite liners from Gossip Girl. It is so true isn’t it? The truth locks you in, it never sets you free. Often you feel worse after telling the truth because the consequences to bear after is well, let’s just say I’m speaking from personal experience.

Nontheless, I have been addicted to Gossip Girl, having marathoned through Season 2 and 3 at one go. And it reminds me of Grey’s Anatomy. Ah Grey’s, the first couple of seasons were great. But the end result I realised was quite similar, everyone ends up sleeping with everyone else. Just that in Gossip Girl, they do it over 3 seasons. In Grey’s, they do in almost all in the first season. Not the main point really. Gossip Girl, it showcases Mahattan’s young, rich sexy kids. At the same time, it touches on a subject that is close to home.

How one thing can pass on to another, distorts at the next, passes on further till the end story suddenly becomes nothing like the original.

But then, what would life be without Gossip?

A little of mundane, a little of boring. But most importantly, a lot of peace. Now isn’t that a beauty?